Scene: we are in a trendy vegan café with crystals on every table and soft meditation music in the background. The aroma of lavender kombucha fills the air. We are about to witness the first date of …

Ethan Rising Starseed –  A spiritually aware man with a man-bun, wearing loose linen pants and a organic hemp T-shirt.

Sienna Hummingbird – A trauma-informed, new-age goddess adorned in bohemian layers, an amethyst pendant and a crown braid.

Ethan: [settling into his chair, palms pressed together in front of his heart] Namaste. Before we even begin, I just want to hold space for this container we’re creating. I’m sensing an aligned energetic resonance here, and I just want to honor that.

Sienna: Wow, thank you. I feel that too. It’s so refreshing to connect with a man who’s clearly done the inner work. Honestly, I can feel your solar plexus is absolutely vibrating right now.

Ethan: That’s because I did a cacao ceremony this morning and journaled for two hours about my wounded masculine. I needed to unpack some shadowwork around the shame I’ve been carrying from my last relationship.

Sienna: [gasps, hand over her heart] Ethan, that’s so beautiful. Shadowwork is so underrated. Honestly, I’ve been deep in my sacral chakra healing lately. My womb space has been feeling … heavy, you know? Like it’s carrying intergenerational trauma from the patriarchy.

Ethan: [leans forward, eyes glistening] Goddess, I feel that. And I just want to say your willingness to articulate this is profoundly brave. Your womb energy is sacred. Thank you for sharing that vulnerability with me.

Sienna: Of course. Honestly, Ethan, I don’t have time for surface-level connections anymore. I’m just going to say it: I’ve had three spiritual awakenings in the last year alone, and I am not interested in anyone who isn’t on their fourth or higher.

Ethan: Totally. If you’re not sobbing on the bathroom floor at 3 a.m., questioning the meaning of existence, are you even evolving? And just to be transparent, I’m currently in my third Saturn Return – not my fourth awakening yet – but I’m actively working with my intuitive coach to expedite the process.

Sienna: I love the accountability. Quick question, though – what’s your Human Design?

Ethan: Generator. 6/2 profile. But, I have a Reflector Moon, so I¡m very fluid in how I process energy. How about you?

Sienna: Manifestor, 3/5. I knew it. I could feel your sacral response when I walked in. Honestly, though, astrology-wise, I feel we should clear the air immediately. I’m a triple Scorpio with a Capricorn Moon. My intensity can be a lot for some people.

Ethan: [places hand on his heart] Thank you for naming that. I deeply honor your watery depth. I’m a Leo, Aquarius Moon, and Pisces Rising. I hold space for intensity, but I need you to know upfront: I have an avoidant attachment style that I’m actively reparenting.

Sienna: Ethan, that awareness is everything. I’m anxious-preoccupied, but I am integrating it with somatic therapy and daily breathwork, How do  you feel about polyamory? I need to know now because my nervous system can’t handle ambiguous connections.

Ethan: I appreciate that clarity. I identify as solo-poly, but I prioritize ethical communication. I have three partners at the moment, but they are all energetically aligned with my purpose, and we do weekly check-ins with a relationship coach. Transparency is non-negotiable for me.

Sienna: [eyes widen in admiration] Wow, that’s incredible. I don’t have any partners right now because I’ve been celibate for six months to recalibrate my divine feminine energy. But, I’m ready to open my Yoni portal to someone who can meet me in unconditional love.

Ethan: [leans in closer, lowering his voice to a velvety tone] Honestly, I don’t want to be too forward, but… I can’t help but feel our kundalini energy could braid together in a tantric spiral so powerful it might awaken timelines we didn’t even know existed. I can feel it in my Lingam, which always functions as a sacred dowsing rod for me.

Sienna: [gasps slightly, her hand instinctively grasping her amethyst pendant] Ethan, that’s… intense.

Ethan: Is it? Or is it just the truth we’re both afraid to name? Because I can already feel my heart chakra opening and my perineum tingling to the idea of worshiping your divine feminine… energetically and physically if you’re open to it.

Sienna: [laughs softly, fanning herself with her hand] Ethan, you’re dangerous. But also, that’s the most sacredly erotic thing that anyone’s ever said to me.

Ethan: I’m just a vessel for divine expression. What happens between us is simply the universe fulfilling it’s own desire for union.

Sienna: [smiling with tears in her eyes] That’s so powerful. Honestly Ethan, this feels divinely orchestrated. But I need to ask something crucial before we proceed: Where do you stand on gluten?

Ethan: I’m gluten-intolerant, but don’t impose that on others. Your food choices are your sovereign decision. That said, I would never date someone who eats factory-farmed meat. I hope that’s okay.

Sienna: You’re speaking my language. I only eat foraged mushrooms and wild-crafted greens. My body rejects anything that isn’t vibrating at the highest frequency.

Ethan: [reaches across the table, placing his hand gently over hers] Sienna, I feel like we’ve done more soul work in this conversation than most couples do in five years, Would you like to join me at an ecstatic dance circle next week?

  Sienna: Ethan, I would be honored. But, let’s set an intention first: no shoes, no judgment, and complete surrender to the flow of the universe.

Ethan: Absolutely. I’ll bring the sage, you bring the sound bowls. This is going to be magical.

They both take a deep inhale, exhale loudly, and gaze at each other’s eyes in silent gratitude as their raw vegan cheesecakes arrive.